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Train Your Dog – Don’t Throw Them to the Wolves

“Congrats on the new puppy! How’s socialization going?”

We all know that puppies need to be socialized. It’s part of the puppy intro kit handed to you when you get a dog. (They should all come with user manuals, shouldn’t they??)

When you get a puppy, the world is telling you everything you need to do to keep the dog happy and healthy. Puppy training guides almost always cover the basics: potty training, how to come when called, sitting for a treat, and maybe how to lie down if you are feeling adventurous.

And then this word socialization gets thrown into the mix.

People create lists of all the people, places, and things you need to see with your new puppy.

And so the new puppy owners go forth to all the new places with all the new things and meet all the new people…

The new puppy owners are so proud of their efforts – they share on their puppy’s instagram page all of the new things that their puppy has seen this week… They’re doing everything right.

And then the vet says “your puppy was trying to bite.” The groomer says “your puppy was really scared.” The house sitter couldn’t walk your dog outside on a leash. The trainer pulls you aside to talk about private classes.

What went wrong??

You socialized your puppy. You ticked everything off of that list. You even saw a person wearing a hat, holding an umbrella, riding a unicycle, playing a harmonica, and wearing shades. That had to have been enough… Right?

Your puppy experienced all those things so now they are conditioned to all the things. Right?

Wrong.

Did you “socialize” your dog or did you train your dog?

I see so many people who define socialization as just doing regular dog things with their puppy…

They take their brand new puppies out to dog parks, to parades, to dog shows, to daycare and they just let the puppy “figure it out themselves.” Most of the time the puppy is scared silly. Sometimes it’s the opposite – the puppy is so over aroused that it’s lost its entire mind.

I once saw someone throw a terrified puppy into a crowd of people and say “go get socialized!”

That dog is still scared of people…

Think about it from the perspective of a child. (I know, I know, don’t compare dogs and kids… But stick with me for a moment)

A child who is growing up in the world and learning how stuff works.

You don’t teach a kid how to do advanced calculus by bringing them to a math conference. First they need to learn how to talk, how to read and write, how to interact with humans, how to do simple math equations, how to enroll in a class, how to… The list goes on.

You also don’t bring a kid to an amusement park for the first time and put them on the biggest ride of the park… You start at the kid rides, then maybe the water park, and then branch out when they’re ready to be adventurous.

You don’t teach gymnastics by starting with the complex maneuvers – you start with the basics. You start with balance, core strength, body awareness, and stretches.

Photo by Kristine Hynes

When you teach a dog a complex behavior like running over an agility obstacle, you start with the basics. You start by teaching the dog balance, core strength, body awareness, and stretches.

This all makes complete sense to us from a training perspective. Start with the basic building blocks, create your foundation, and then add the rest.

But somewhere along the line, training and socialization became two different things…

It makes sense when teaching a new behavior to break it down into simpler steps.

But why do we still throw our dogs to the wolves when we socialize them?

Socialization by definition is the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society.

It’s literally learning a new behavior.

And puppies are not equipped with the skills to handle every situation right off the bat.

Those skills need to be taught and broken down into achievable steps for our puppies.

So, please… For the love of all that is holy… Stop throwing your puppies to the wolves in the name of socialization.

Socialization should look like a partnership – you and your dog exploring the world together and working as a team. You work as the guide, showing your dog what is good and safe and actively teaching them how to interact with their environment.

What does that look like?

First, you need to be your dog’s advocate.

Your puppy needs a safety net at first. A person to run to when things get overwhelming. The fastest way to build confidence in a puppy is to allow for a little hesitation – a chance for them to sit on the bench and watch the play unfold. You need to give your dog the ability to make choices. When you strip those choices away from them, you don’t leave room for creativity or confidence to blossom.

Second, you need to teach skills in a familiar environment.

I’m not talking complex skills like a focused heel and perfect eye contact. Small skills like engagement – that initial connection to you as the handler. One session where you reward your dog with something they love is all it takes to spark that engaged connection.

Another skill is how to take a food reward. Believe it or not, not all dogs think of food as a reward. It is a taught skill for some dogs – labs and cockers may be excluded…

If the first time you use a food reward is at the vet trying to lure them into a cage surrounded by barking dogs… I guarantee you will forever taint that food. The dog will view it as a bribe and associate big negative emotions with it.

One of the other key skills is wearing a collar or harness. These can be really uncomfortable for young puppies and if they only wear them for outings in new scary places. They’re going to have a negative emotion surrounding the whole endeavor. Again, one session at home of putting the collar on and having a good time will save you months of counter conditioning to remedy those big feelings.

Finally, you need to be consistent in your training and day-to-day life.

Create habits around training so that your puppy learns what to expect and likewise learns what is expected of them. Puppies don’t know things! They don’t know what a training session is, they don’t know what a walk is, and they certainly haven’t learned what manners look like. You have to teach them.

The first step to learning a new behavior or skill is to first learn how to learn. Showing your dog how to think critically is so crucial to having a well balanced pet. This can look like trick training – giving your dog small games to figure out and outsmart will lead them to problem solve easily.

Keep outings short, keep them fun, keep them safe… And always, always, always know when to stop. Hint: It’s almost always time to stop when you want to push for more – when you find yourself saying “oh just one more repetition.”

Socialization is not throwing your puppy out into the void of the dog park… It’s careful, mindful, and safe training to build and cultivate skills in your dog so that they can function creatively and confidently in society.

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